Oh, I could write 3 novels of reasons why I am single… too ugly, too fat, too annoying perhaps. No, I find myself beautiful (at times) but my beauty or the lack there of is not the reason I am single today…oh no, no, no, no ,no (in Georgina’s voice from get out), I am single because I refuse to be walked over, mistreated, and abused. Gather around the camp fire you guys I have a story to tell you, well not a story more of me venting but hey… who cares. I’ve  never had a decent relationship with a guy, and surprise, surprise it’s because I didn’t have my father in my life. Yes, I have daddy issue sue me. I’ve never understood men, not even a little bit. About a year and a half ago I got really into sex in the city. Oh, how I loved this show and their witty characters. I could remember wanting to have the lifestyle of Carrie’s. Living in New York, seeing my friends every week, fashion, sex, and making money. It was the ultimate dream. I honestly related more to Samantha rather than Carrie. Samantha’s carefree, fuck anything with a 6 pack was so powerful to me, but the point I am trying to make here is, like Carrie and unlike Samantha I craved foundation, stability, and happiness. Although, I wouldn’t mind the lifestyle of Samantha’s somedays, but I have the heart of Carrie. That constantly needing reassurance and attention, because of that I find myself not living the full college experience. I was told that college is for you to be young, cut loose, have your first lesbian experience, and threesome, yet here I am, living with my mom, naked in my room eating a pack of family sized Oreos… by myself. What I am doing wrong if anything? Should I hop in my car and fuck the first guy that texts me back? or should I continue to wait for Mr. Right, or to keep with the sex and the city theme of this blog post Mr. Big?  What should i do? I am scared, young, and lonely, But Hey what do I know? I’ll just masterbate and fall asleep and pretend I dont have these dreadful feelings inside about my future…Ha Ha life is funny sometimes and other times, its just bullshit =)master

2 thoughts on “WHY am I single ?

  1. I know those feels. I lived like Samantha for quite awhile, jumping to one guy and the next. I also blame my daddy issues, he was a workaholic, and basically my only interaction with him was him beating whooping our butts for something wrong we did, until he passed away when I was 14. Only thing I knew about guys was sex. Fast forward to now (25) I met my current boyfriend by odd circumstance and have been with him for 2 years now. I wish I hadn’t gone through all that bullshit and assholes, because I never believed I’d find someone like him. But if I hadn’t gone through the dirtbags, loneliness, and dark void, I wouldn’t have ended up where I am now, with my fortified inner strength, or in a random city where I met my boyfriend. Don’t give up. Shit happens, and someday what you want will happen to you.


    1. Sorry to hear about your dad and your absolutely right its so amazing you found someone it gives me hope im so scared of getting hurt again… but i have to kiss a couple of frogs before i get to my prince i guess !!! Thanks for sharing and commenting it really means alot to me!!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s