Today’s blog post, is coming from a different charm then any of my other blog post. Most of the time I spoke from sadness, stubbornness, and lack of maturity. Today I will be discussing some tips to help you with your partner and also explaining how I came to those conclusions..
I have been engaged for 11 months and 27 days now, to a man I have been dating for 2 years. I never known love like this… it almost has me spoiled to the fact that I sometimes not as appreciative… throughout my 2 year relationship I’m going to be honest me and my fiancée have done the absolute most! Almost 4 breaks, me almost fighting his mother! And also us being childish towards each other….
It has been a journey! Today we argued about something simple yet a big deal depending on the person. We got into it in a fast food line because I was a bit extra, I yell at him thinking he will hit the car in front of us I even called him stupid… I was wrong!! Dead wrong but two wrongs don’t make a right and when my fiancée heard that he flipped..
He starting bringing up my past ! Childish things I may add but nonetheless he was purposely trying to be an asshole, look my fiancée has schizophrenia and I have bipolar disorder and that can be a recipe for disaster!! It’s not an excuse but it has cause a lot of our problems because we are both emotional and or over emotional and he lets his head fill up with bad thoughts….
We ended up working this out after I gave him one of my best speeches lol … I told him look we got 3 options … option 1. one of us eat the shit sandwich and apologize to the other basically admitting they were wrong 2. We ignore the issue pretend like it never happened and let’s go have sex to be double sure lol or 3. We can see if we can find someone better out there… see if you can find a women like me who helped build you gaming room, who always make sure you look and smell good, who thinks of you as much as I do … or I can try to find a man who cooks for me, get me food everyday, even trust him with my moms debit card as she ask him to go buy her something from Walmart… we can try but we will mostly likely fail!
I said all that to him and also said look man when you get mad at me you start to want to prove a point and by doing so you have to bring up all my wrong doings so it can seem like I’m the villain when we both know I’m a good person who just makes mistakes sometimes, when you are too upset to the point we’re you can’t speak kindly or speak without ruining my character detach yourself go play a game I will understand and I will have a hot bath …..cool off get something to eat and try again … but this back and forth one person trying to prove why the other is wrong will kill our relationship and let’s be real we are perfect for each other!! Plain and simple
He agreed, and apologized and so did I !
Quick tips to a happy relationship!!
1. If you don’t have nothing nice to say don’t say nothing at all this is kindergarten rules … learn to respect your partner even when you are mad!
2. Find a hobby and learn to make it your go to thing when in a heated argument pause the conversation respectfully tell you partner “hey I need some time to process thing before I speak let’s continue this later I understand where you are coming from but I need more time please”
3. Life is short sometimes it’s better to apologize and kiss then to argue for hours … make your partner understand their feelings matter and sometimes just throw in the white flag for peace !